18

 

I meant to write this 10 days ago, but life is still happening. My goal at the skidding end of last year was to make this place more interactive, which means posting here more instead of the blog, so this is me attempting that. I still don't really like this blog format, but I suppose I'll get used to it.

I got a lot accomplished last year, somehow. I feel like I didn't have time to do anything. Every year I do this obligatory New Years post, and I don't really remember if they're optimistic or not. Knowing myself, I imagine they're not, or at least that Zen optimism, in which everything will turn out exactly like it is supposed to.

That has always felt like: this isn't what I want, but it's good enough, so I'll deal with it, but that was never how I meant it. This is what I want, in that I am grateful for this, and don't wish I was doing anything other that this, but this is often difficult to deal with, as is... not this, so why not just appreciate this? I think the term "making the most of what you have" is also misinterpreted a lot, probably because it is usually attached to "what I can afford" and is in reference to what I haven't accomplished with my life; maybe I should change that to appreciating and cherishing what I am lucky enough to have? That's how I feel. Why can't I write that better? I love my wife and kids; they are my life; and if I were to take on the cliché New Year's resolution, it would be to appreciate them more, or at least make sure that they know I do.

We were in bed by like 9 on New Years Eve, so we celebrated on 1/1/19 with some champagne and a cigar we got at the wedding, and some Martinelli's for the kids, which Ero didn't seem to like at all. So here's to another new trip around the sun. This next year is already looking pretty promising, and if it doesn't happen like I'd like it to, I will always have my girls.