One thing that really resonated with me today was the understanding that all we need as a species on this planet is food, water, and sleep. Community and love make us feel better and safe, but they often cause more problems than not, and most use them as bandaids to avoid just being here, in this life, experiencing this moment, right now.
Instead of genuinely having this experience, we throw away that potential happiness by wasting our time here wanting, and striving, and planning, and acquiring, and becoming. What we all learn at the end of that wasted time and energy was that you already had everything you needed, but our minds were focused past that because we were told that we needed more things, and different things; better things. Food. Water. Sleep. Everything else is stupid shit. Love because you understand the wholeness that is felt in that energy, the purpose of a compassionate animal; everything else is a bandaid on a self inflicted wound.
“Self” inflicted because you are blessed with free will, you have the choice of an individual human soul who is free to do whatever you want. You don’t have to listen. You don’t have to believe. You don’t have to feel all those negative things. You can be and feel whatever you want, in realizing that there isn’t anything you need to be or feel.
No one can make you be or feel anything unless you give them that power. Keep that powerful energy so that you can truly appreciate this amazing experience. Fight for your nature. You were born beautiful. The always included aspect of your infinite potential is realized immediately when you let go of what you were told, let go of what you believe, let go of how you feel, and understand that your potential is already attained. Existence is relationship; change your perspective, and change your existence.
"We find ourselves today in a tragically body-beautiful society, and women in particular find an obsessive pressure placed on them to conform to its stringent demands. Again this leads us to an objective and external view of ourselves, and we lose connection to our inner world, our subjectivity, the source of our beauty. True radiant beauty has little to do with physical features. It is a quality that shimmers from within. When a woman is fulfilled in love she is extremely beautiful, even luminous, with love. It shines through the physical form. The inspiring curves of feminine grace are to be found in every woman’s body. Awareness and a loving attitude to one’s own body plant the roots of real beauty, elegance, and dignity. Yet most of us judge or compare rather than love our bodies. Forget about the norm, and start to love your body from within while appreciating the shapes and forms of others. Acceptance and relaxation have a profound effect on the body energy, which creates unique feminine beauty." ~ Diana Richardson
“If what you’re going to do is wrong, do it well.”… obviously a bit negative, but if you don’t include everything you may as well not apply it to anything… or the more passive Zen approach, "If you walk, just walk. If you sit, just sit. But whatever you do, don't wobble.”
When I was a teenager I discovered something about the instruments I was playing, acting, and creativity in general, which involved what Alan Watts uses on multiple platforms, but I had no concept of yet: leaping into action. This isn’t something that my music or theatre teachers ever taught me. When you watch “beginners” do anything, the something that is missing is the anticipation and consideration, the thinking.
If you are being tentative to avoid fucking up, or over analyzing the score or scene in anticipation of what’s next, so you’re “prepared”, there is a split second of lag in the moment that loses the connection with your audience, whether they be a live audience or a tape recorder. Yes, people out there still use tapes. They have beards, listen to records, and drink mocha-frappe-latte-ccinos and IPAs.
Alan obviously uses a Chinese term, mu chih ch’u, so as to culture the rest of us, but it’s relation to being used in the practice of a samurai applies to everything all the more beautifully.
"The fighter is to be always single-minded with one object in view: to fight, looking neither backward nor sidewise. To go straight forward in order to crush the enemy is all that is necessary for him.” ~ Daisetz Suzuki.
One of the best things I was taught studying photography was that once I learned how to do everything correctly, to let all that stuff go, don’t think about it, and just do it, attack it, or you’ll miss it, and if you miss that moment you’ll never get it back. I’m sure most of you saw Aronofsky’s Black Swan, and likely enjoyed it, as did I, but for different reasons. What I took away from that film was the scene in which she was rehearsing and the director was yelling “attack it” at her.
That’s it. It applies to every little thing if you want to succeed at it. I honestly only saw that film once in theatres and didn’t need to see it again, so I’m not really sure if that scene exists. Maybe I just imagined it, but for this purpose it exists. Learn it. Learn every little thing about it. Memorize it in your mind and muscles, and when you know it, forget it, because if you have to think about it you’re going to fuck it up, especially if you’re thinking about potentially fucking it up.
Once you get there and you do happen to fuck up, you will do it with such heart and passion that the audience will find it endearing. People don’t want to see a mechanical perfect show; they want to feel the heart and passion of whatever you’re doing. That’s what brings people to their feet, and that’s what sticks with people throughout their lives. Maybe don’t be a samurai, though, cause then they’d just be dead.
I started reading again. It has had a profound effect on my attitude and creativity. What I am reading about is, as per usual, an aspect of eastern thought and philosophy, Tantra, which, as I mentioned in the last post, is simply mental science.
I wanted to write a post immediately after the last post because I was finally able to see the negative affirmations I was giving myself, disguised as humor, but just decided to add that little post script and sit with it for a while. I have since finished that book and started another one, and my thinking has changed dramatically. While I am still a little unclear as to what direction I want to go with all this, I need to start doing all of it the best I can until that becomes clear. I also need to ramble less in these post and have more of something solid to say. I'm evolving. I found a beautiful quote today that I wanted to tie in here, but that's a whole other post, as is how I figured out how lAvaNyamaya means consisting entirely of beauty AND the illusion of beauty.
