XXXIII

 Thirty-three seems like such a long time ago to me.  I was finally starting to figure myself out, but still had years before I even decided I wanted to survive my thirties.  I can't help but smile when this beautiful soul reaches those personal milestones that seemed so blessedly profound and blatantly obvious, as my flailing gradually got less extreme, and my accidentally harming those around me began to taper off.  Eight years ago I thought I was done with relationships. Although I was done playing the stupid games that most relationships require, it took a pretty extraordinary human being to show me that life could be even more beautiful.

She showed up in front of my camera for the wrong reasons, and I simply showed her the beauty that I saw in her, which she still cannot even begin to fathom.  She then pulled me out of a lonely world that I had become complacent with, having to accept that I would never have another chance to have and raise children, and showed me that I was waiting around for something that I didn't really want or need.  I was so anxious to just go, that I became frustrated with all those moments that relationships must go through, but she has stuck by me through my relearning process.

No, she was not a model that I started dating; she was a strong, independent woman, raising a daughter by herself, basically, who was on her own journey of growth and discovery.  She not only let me in, put she has pursued modeling because she knows it's something I love.  Now we have an amazing daughter together, to beautifully contrast her oldest daughter who I am doing my best to mold into a human being as beautiful as her mother.  Having such a gorgeous model with me at all times is just a bonus to being with such an amazing person and mother, and I couldn't ask for anything more.

Happy birthday, Love.