Temet Nosce

 "The unexamined life is not worth living."

                                             ~ Socrates

 I don't know why I was born with this drive when no one appreciates it.  I have trouble finding people who even understand it.  To be perfectly honest, it took me a really long time to understand it.  I have tried to explain it as many ways as I could manage, over and over again.  Generally I just get a pat on the head, or people take something out of it that didn't really have anything to do with what I was saying.  Clearly, I am still failing at getting people around me to understand what has always been painfully obvious to me.

 Nosce te ipsum.

Decades wasted and I haven't really gotten anywhere.  I have evolved greatly in how I approach people and my work, but I still feel the same.  I still see the world the same way I did when I was a child: I am overwhelmed with wasted potential.  We could all be accomplishing something beautiful every day, but we sit around and forfeit our precious energy on stupid shit, which is, of course, relative to what I put importance on, but Socrates would tell you the same thing, so I guess I'll just keep going until you kill me to shut me up.

I'll just keep going, even though this is all debilitatingly depressing.  I can't help but think that I am just horrible at everything.


"Know then thyself, presume not God to scan,
The proper study of mankind is man."

~ Alexander Pope


I feel very beaten down by people and a society that complains that I am beaten down.

I'm just a fucking idiot.

You are beautiful.  Why can't you just be beautiful?  Why do you have to keep trying to be something other than what you are?  If you are already beautiful and you are striving to be something else, you are heading away from beauty.  You may see it as 'better', but it's just different, and different than beautiful is just that.  Things that we do are simply things that we do: they come and go with minimal effort and attention.  Who we are is who we are: nothing changes that.  We can change the things that we do to suit temporal needs, and some of those things are temporally beautiful, but no one will ever be beautiful until they can just be, and be happy with 'me'.

If I can't get you to understand, how am I supposed to get anyone to understand?  How are my children ever going to live in a beautiful world?