Strange Brew
Life... takes us to strange places. It is very easy to feel victimized by where we end up, be it good or bad in reality. Often times we find ourselves swirled into someone else's dreams and realities. Opportunities become what other people offer you, and what you earn in their world, rarely what you actually wanted with your life. It is easy, also, to genuinely appreciate what things are handed to you. When that does happen, you have to reevaluate everything, restructure everything, and let go of a lot of plans and dreams of your own... for the sake of other people and what you need to accomplish for them... right now. This can feel like a kick and a scream, or it can feel like a deep breath and a smile. This weekend we soft opened this Brewpub that has been slowly building for years, and that I have been working at for about three months, and while it was amazing watching people drink and enjoy the beer that I have been helping to make, there really wasn't much time to simply enjoy it while running back and forth between two jobs. I worked myself sick.
There is that part of me that is proud of running around and working almost 40 hours in three days, but then there is also the rational part of me that sees that all that work basically just barely gets me back to working the hours that I lost when the restaurant closed for lunch two months ago, leaving my family under a considerable amount of financial strain. We make it work, because that's what you do. The punchline to the 14 hour days is that there is no overtime, opening the restaurant, then heading over to close the brewpub, two separate businesses, technically... more rational panics. Everyone is exhausted, though, you can see it on their faces. I am really just lucky to be included in this transitional/settling phase, and will continue to do whatever they need me to do, because that's what I do, but while my boss went out and bought another car, I'm beyond broke, and just trying to smile through all of this. More practical stuff. Eight years ago, with this same employer at a different restaurant, I intimated in a blog post that I would rather starve to death on the side of the road doing what I love, than run my ass off for high school money, which got me fired.
I still had my primary job as a projectionist and I wasn't supporting anyone, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Not a month went by before I was offered a job running a kitchen, which I had never done, but I did it. That business folded and I went on to the next kitchen. I got sick of that and went on to the next kitchen. When I was fired and evicted from my now obsolete projectionist job, all I really knew I could do was work in a kitchen, so I washed dishes and did prep wherever I could in the desert, in a strange place where no one knew who I was. Now, I'm working in two of the best kitchens on my little mountain, and am the only employee in my little mountain's only brewery. That's pretty fucking extraordinary, and while I do bitch a lot about the fairness of payscales and actual work involved in comparison to living expenses in modern society, I do feel very fortunate to be where I am. Everything is beautiful. lAvaNyamaya.
I still just want to shoot.
We should shoot.
Come have a beer.
There is that part of me that is proud of running around and working almost 40 hours in three days, but then there is also the rational part of me that sees that all that work basically just barely gets me back to working the hours that I lost when the restaurant closed for lunch two months ago, leaving my family under a considerable amount of financial strain. We make it work, because that's what you do. The punchline to the 14 hour days is that there is no overtime, opening the restaurant, then heading over to close the brewpub, two separate businesses, technically... more rational panics. Everyone is exhausted, though, you can see it on their faces. I am really just lucky to be included in this transitional/settling phase, and will continue to do whatever they need me to do, because that's what I do, but while my boss went out and bought another car, I'm beyond broke, and just trying to smile through all of this. More practical stuff. Eight years ago, with this same employer at a different restaurant, I intimated in a blog post that I would rather starve to death on the side of the road doing what I love, than run my ass off for high school money, which got me fired. 
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